Akash KAPUR
Better to have gone - Love, death, and the quest for utopia in Auroville
New York: Simon & Schuster, 2021, 829 blzn. (epub);
ISBN-13: 978 15 0113 2537

Ik heb een andere versie van het boek gelezen, vandaar dat de paginanummers hieronder niet overeenkomen met genoemde versie

(17) Prologue - Unfinished Business

"Some people think of Auroville as a utopia, but the people who live there, including my wife and me, reject this label. Utopia is a place that’s perfect and that doesn’t exist. Auroville is real, and highly—humanly—imperfect. I guess it would be more appropriate to say that Auroville is an aspiring utopia." [mijn nadruk] (17)

[Het is maar hoe je het ziet. Utopia als de volmaakte plaats is niet de definitie die ik zou hanteren van utopia.]

(30) PART I

(30) 1 - Dreamers

"the very idea of utopia and the search for perfection"(11)

"We all want better, we’re all always imagining fresh starts and alternative lives. Everyone is at heart a utopian."(32)

[Al die verlangens naar Oosterse spiritualiteit, vaak bij mensen die al religieus zijn opgegroeid. En kwamen ze vaak uit de gegoede burgerij? ]

"Call this dream utopian if you will; it is utopian. The ideal world can never exist; it’s always one step ahead of itself, in an overleaping ambition, a grasping aspiration that exceeds its ability to manifest. Still, so many great advances begin that way, with a vision of the seemingly unattainable. “We act only under the fascination of the impossible,” writes E. M. Cioran, the Romanian philosopher of utopia."(40)

1968 start Auroville in Zuid-India.

"THE CHARTER OF AUROVILLE
Auroville belongs to nobody in particular. Auroville belongs to humanity as a whole. But, to live in Auroville, one must be a willing servitor of the Divine Consciousness." [mijn nadruk] (45)

[Dat alleen al.]

"is utopia’s finest hour, when the dream remains unsullied"(97)

"But despite Diane’s optimism, she and Guido are having trouble. He’s become interested in pursuing a more traditional Hindu ascetic path, and he’s taken a vow of sannyasa, which requires giving up physical intimacy."(106)

"As Auroville—and its forests—expands, so do tensions between those who direct the project from Pondicherry and those who live on the soil.(...) In a letter home, John refers to a dichotomy between the “organicists” of Auroville and the “constructionalists” of Pondicherry. The latter, he says, believe in blueprints and systems. Comparing them to the technocratic managers of modernist totems such as Brasília or Chandigarh—very much utopian projects themselves—he writes that the constructionalists seek to raise funds, quickly put up buildings, and worry about people later. The organicists, on the other hand, work the land and “hold that Auroville must be allowed to grow naturally, like a tree in a forest.” (...) The administrators look down on the hippies, and the hippies are equally disdainful of the administrators."(112-113)

[Dit zal ongetwijfeld bij allerlei intensionele gemeenschappen voorkomen. ]

"John’s new friends in Silence plant the land, smoke pot, play the guitar, and throw parties under the stars. They live together in a communal hut, and they use the fields as toilets."(115)

"Intentional communities are like people; they have life cycles. These young years are a moment of great plasticity and innovation. They will be followed by a certain adult caution and then, as some will bemoan, a middle-aged stasis."(127)

"In the villages, sentiment toward these outsiders is ambivalent. (...) Many are incredulous about the way these people dress—the men in their loincloths or lungis, like Indian farmers, the women in scandalous little shorts and sleeveless tops. Auroville comes to be known as nanga nagar, or naked town."(131)

[Nou, zo naakt is dat niet. ]

"Couplings are easy and transitory in this new society. Auroville’s hippies have predictably open-minded views about sex and marriage. Parenting is fluid and, like everything else, unconventional. To the many aspects of life Auroville is trying to reinvent in its laboratory, we must add the family unit. Aurolouis has two fathers and so will Auralice: Larry and, later, John. Really, the idea is that everyone is a child of the Mother’s; the whole community is one big family. Larry will explain it to me like this: “We didn’t want to repeat any of that nuclear-family stuff that we’d grown up with. We weren’t into jealousy, possessiveness, none of that. Marriage felt like ownership, and that’s not what we were doing—not for things, not for people. We were all in this together; it felt like we’d all take care of each other.”" [mijn nadruk] (137)

"Not everyone in the Mother’s world shares quite the same views. Tales of promiscuity in Auroville filter back to Pondicherry, dismaying the administrators and planners. The Mother herself complains that Aurovilians are “living like rabbits and animals.” She says children born out of casual affairs are “ill-conceived, ill-formed, underdeveloped.” In March of 1972, the topic of Diane’s relationship with Larry comes up in a conversation between the Mother and a member of the Ashram.
“What is this? Going after one man and another!” the Mother reportedly says. “We are trying to be above humanity, but these things are animal things, below humanity.” She adds, “Tell her [Diane] that they can be good friends, but for good friendship kissing is not necessary, nor sexual activity.”" [mijn nadruk] (139)

"There will always be these two contingents: a loud and vocal cohort of dreamers, and then a more latent one."(145)

"Stories about John’s generosity continue to spread, within Auroville but also now in the villages."(151)

[Niet zo moeilijk voor een rijkeluiskind dat de beschikking heeft over veel geld. ]

"Every utopia is at its core an attempt to reinvent humanity. The Soviets anticipated a New Man and a New Woman who would embody communist values such as self-sacrifice and austerity. Thomas More, in Utopia, portrays an ideal society that molds human nature toward perfection. Transhumanism foresees a bionic species to improve on nature’s version; it’s possible to see our culture’s boundless optimism about technology, and in particular the start-up ethos, as the twenty-first century’s predominant strain of utopianism."(160)

"Immortality is a godly aspiration—you could say it’s utopian. Nonetheless, the anticipation that a successful yoga might succeed in banishing death captures the imagination of early Aurovilians and establishes a conceivable (if distant) goal, alongside more earthly ambitions such as reinventing the economy and society." [mijn nadruk] (162)

"When Auroson died, he says, he had the Mother to console him. But when she was gone, he was alone. “She never prepared us for the possibility that she would leave her body,” he says. “I was totally blown away. Actually, I’m still in shock. I didn’t believe it then, and a part of me still doesn’t believe she’s gone.”"(199)

[Hoe naïef ben je dan. Ze was ruim in de 90! ]

"Some of the disagreements John has left behind are high-minded and ideological. Many are petty, products of the usual all-too-human ambitions and bruised egos. There are murmurings about money and who gets to handle it, jostling for power, and maneuvers to inherit the Mother’s mantle.(...) Now, like an orphaned child coming into its own, the community starts challenging the CFY. Aurovilians raise questions about the way donations are collected and assets used, and they demand more input into how the project is governed. There is growing talk about the need for “independence” and a “revolution.”"(231)

"Eventually, Prudence goes with John to Auroville, where they visit Kottakarai. The troubles rage on, as do their financial repercussions. A recently constituted Central Fund now disburses a mere 26,375 rupees ($3,500) every month for food, personal maintenances, and electricity, a 65 percent reduction from the community’s budget before the revolution. More than ever, Auroville depends on contributions from its wealthier members; John’s return to the scene is welcome." [mijn nadruk] (274)

[Dat is zo'n foute situatie. ]

[Diane valt en komt in het ziekenhuis terecht. Iedereen speculeert over de oorzaak van de val, allemaal vage spirituele oorzaken. ]

"What follows is a remarkable interpretation of Diane’s fall—full of fire and brimstone, Satprem’s words like the admonishing sermon of an old-school preacher. He insists that the accident was, in fact, not an accident at all. Following a “spiritual law,” Satprem writes, Diane’s fall is actually the “sign of a Falsehood.” Those who insist otherwise are turning their heads away from the truth (the “Truth”). Since Auroville is meant to be a place exclusively for seekers of the Truth, and since Satprem is fortunate to see things a little more deeply, so it falls to him to share the reality of Diane’s fall with the community. That reality is difficult—“but people, alas, do not understand until they start receiving blows.”"(295)

"According to Satprem, an event such as this one occurring at the Matrimandir is a sign of the times—an indication of the divisions within Auroville and of the corruption of the Mother’s dream. In the second part of the letter, Satprem returns to the core grievance that has eaten at him since the Mother’s departure: the lie of her death, and the interrupted cellular transformation. He argues that the difficulties faced by Auroville in recent times—the violence, the financial hardships, the confusion of the revolution—have seeped in through the cracks formed by this original lie. Diane’s accident should be understood as part of a dismal continuum; what took place on the Matrimandir is an act of collective karma."(296)

En verderop

"An Aurovilian man visits one day; he’s one of the rare people allowed to see her. “Why do you refuse to come out?” he asks. “Why not just move on, get on with things?” He dares to broach the idea of a wheelchair. This time, the topic doesn’t incite Diane’s fury. She just says, calmly, “Satprem has assured me that if my consciousness is right, I can get up and walk out of here.”"(393)

[Fijn, hè, die spirituele leiders en die mensen die blindelings alles geloven wat die uitkramen. De culturele revolutie verderop beschreven is typisch. ]

"As always, the center of action is Aspiration. It is from there, in the community kitchen, below the thatch roof and under those watchful portraits of the Mother and Sri Aurobindo, that the new, increasingly radical phase of the revolution unfurls. Plans are hatched, traitors are denounced, and visions of a reinvigorated Auroville are summoned. The language is lofty, often abstract. It’s little surprise that it seems to draw from the idiom (and, occasionally, demagoguery) of the French Revolution."(352)

"“We were a little bit like the Taliban,” one of Aspiration’s revolutionaries will say years later. He tells me about marching through communities with his comrades, targeting those they considered impure or insufficiently committed. “Anyone who didn’t agree with us, we crushed,” he says. “I was young and ignorant; I was against things and I didn’t know why. To be honest, I didn’t know what I was doing. I was part of the Taliban simply because that’s what was in the atmosphere at the time.”"(355)

[En dat in een utopische gemeenschap.]

"Some of the worst actions are against the Neutrals. During this phase of the revolution, the Collective’s antipathy toward the Neutrals descends into outright vilification, even cruelty. Auroville’s radicals are unsparing of moderation and any attempt to stay outside the fray."(361)

"They aren’t political. John and Diane’s engagement with the revolution is characterized by evasion and deflection, a turning away rather than an overt rejection. They go further inward during these troubled times, toward an extreme privacy and a hermetic seclusion."(368)

"I have always distrusted radicals and revolutionaries, never had much patience for wide-eyed schemes that aim at sudden rupture or dramatic transformation. Growing up in utopia is a good way to make you an incrementalist. It’s not so much that the utopian ambition inevitably fails; we all have dreams that refuse to materialize. The problem is that utopia is so often shot through with the worst forms of callousness and cruelty. Human beings—individuals, families—are mere sideshows in the quest for a perfect world; they are sacrificed at the altar of ideals. Robespierre said that you have to break some eggs to make an omelet. Mao warned that a revolution was not a dinner party. These were hard, hard-hearted men. Maybe I’m too soft, but I feel that I’ve seen these maxims in action. I’ve lived them, and I could never subscribe to them." [mijn nadruk] (381)

"The summer after my freshman year in college I spend the holiday back home in India. It’s 1994 and Auroville is a very different town from the one where I grew up. Much of what repelled or angered me as a child—the fanaticism, the cruelty, the fecklessness—has faded, and what remains are things I love: freedom, a sense of opportunity, an awareness of a population that is, however imperfectly, attempting to build a better world. Maybe, also, spending time in places such as Harvard, the belly of the beast, all that ruthless ambition and materialism, has changed my perspective on Auroville’s idealism, allowed me to better understand its value.
One afternoon I cycle over to the Matrimandir. The building remains incomplete—the revolution has taken a hard toll on the work—but the gardens are soothing and expansive, and I head to a patchwork of boulders and lawn on a mound looking over the structure. I sit on the lawn and a thought hits me; it hits me with the clarity of an epiphany. At least here they’re trying, I think. At least they’re trying to build something different. That moment, I am certain that I will ultimately return to Auroville to be part of this adventure.
Children of utopias, I’ve come to understand, are like exiles. We grow up with the promise, illusory though it may be, of an ideal society. We come into adulthood and we understand the impracticability of that vision, as well as the flaws of the grown-ups who offered it to us. Yet still we cling to the promise; a part of us never stops hoping, looking for a way back. It’s hard to eradicate the vision of a better world once it inhabits your dreams. I think it was always inevitable that Auralice and I would return to Auroville." [mijn nadruk] (512)

"Some people complain that the original flame is dimmed, that Auroville’s early idealism has been replaced by a tired bourgeois complacency. I suppose that may be partly true. But utopia is always a glass half-full or half-empty; its evaluation is always subjective. We haven’t achieved everything we set out to (not even close), but I can’t help feeling we’ve nonetheless achieved a lot. We’re turning fifty; that’s an accomplishment. Few intentional communities—now, or ever—have survived that long. The world militates against places such as Auroville, against anywhere that tries to play by different rules. We’ve held up pretty well against the assaults of conventionality and orthodoxy." [mijn nadruk] (546)

"I’m proud that despite our inevitable compromises and appeasements, we’ve nonetheless managed to create a society—or at least the embers of a society—that is somewhat egalitarian, and that endeavors to move beyond the materialism that engulfs the rest of the planet. I feel honored to be surrounded by men and women who have dedicated their existences to a cause, who have lived with intention and shown me, and now show my kids, that there are other things to strive for in this world than I me mine." [mijn nadruk] (547)